About Me

"Kindness is a language we can all understand. Even the blind can see it and the deaf can hear it." ~ Mother Theresa.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

panic / anxiety attack

My Jaw surgery is fast approaching! This Friday will be exactly two weeks until surgery…..I am so incredibly scared. I feel a panic / anxiety attack coming on every time I think about it. I am really worried that I may not be strong enough to handle this unknowing adventure I got myself into here. I have read everything I can possible read about upper and lower jaw surgery. I have talked to numerous people about their experience. But talking about it or reading about it will never compare to actually going through it. Everyone asks me if I am ready for my surgery…I just smile and sarcastically tell them “NO” {Is anyone really ready for this, I think to myself}. I am really not ready; I mean, I am but I am not – if that makes sense? I have been waiting for this my whole life! People think I am brave for going through with this, but I am not at all brave. In fact, I scare easy (just say “boo” and I jump!) and worry about everything (constantly dwell on what has happened or what will happen – etc). Like I said before – I know everything will be okay. However, my reaction and my panic / anxiety attacks worry me. I wonder if I will freak out at the hospital before they put me under, I wonder when I wake up if I will freak out and make things worse, and I wonder if I will be at home and have a panic attack over my mouth wired shut. I think I may be more worried about me and my capability to cope with right before and after surgery than what my jaw will look like after and undergoing the surgery itself.

Attention: All who ready this – any words of wisdom, encouragement, etc….?

Thanks in advance to all who have and will be there for me as I travel on this journey! You all have no idea how much you all mean to me! Thank you!!!!

7 comments:

Chris K said...

Dezi,
You are going to be awesome. You've done your homework and you've made your commitment mentally and that's the hardest part. You might get nervous at the hospital but the great thing about this is that the surgery is actually the easiest part. You don't have to do anything! Just show up and they'll take care of the rest! Now it would be a lie to tell you that you won't be in any pain afterwards and mentally you'll probably wrestle with some feelings about what you've done to yourself. But the good thing here is you can't slow down time with your worrying. So before you know it you're going to be out of that hospital bed and home slurping down jamba juice. You get yourself to the hospital and your body will do the healing whether you like it or not. You'll be great ;)

Michelle said...

Great advice, I second it all. Just keep reading about others who have done it and are sooo happy. With all the help out there, you will be so prepared for whats coming and it will make it much easier for you to handle. So, relax and look forward to the NEW you! Oh and Chris is right, you will ask yourself a couple of times WHY?WHY did you sign up for this, but you will tell yourself 1000x's more BECAUSE ITS ALL ABOUT ME! I want to look good, feel good and be happy! Go get em girl!

Dezi said...

Thank you so much Chris and Michelle....

I really believe that everyone's support is what will truely help me get through this

....THANK YOU!

Michelle said...

Okay then, I third Chris' advice. Everything will turn out just fine. I worry all of the time, just like you. I remember after my SARPE, I said I was definately not going through with a second sugery. Now I say, bring it on. I can do this!! So can you! In the end, we'll all be so happy we did it!!! Good luck and think positive!!!

Shontell said...

Hi Denzi,
I'm Shontell. I found your blog through the wonderful Michelle. :D
I think we all have the same worries as you do. I DO!!!! I freak out over everything!! I'm due for a lower jaw surgery and I am SO NERVOUS. I think the worse part is right before when you're in that warm blanket, IV in hand, and saying goodbye to your loved ones. You feel as if you need more time to think things through and get ready. Everything seems to be going too fast. To me - this was the worse. Everything else seems to glide right along.

Shontell said...

Some advice: Try not to think about it. It's working for me. ;D

Dezi said...

Thank you Shontell and Michelle!