About Me

"Kindness is a language we can all understand. Even the blind can see it and the deaf can hear it." ~ Mother Theresa.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Out with the old, and in with the new

Surgery is tomorrow. Wow, really tomorrow! Ready or not….

… here I go

– wish me luck!


I don’t have internet at home, so I will do my best to find my way to this blog and let everyone know how I am doing.

Thanks in advance for the support!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Met with the Ortho - I HATE surgical hooks !

Met with the ortho and got my surgical hooks put in and the strongest wires on the top and bottom.

My mouth hurts so bad. I thought my spacers hurt, but this is unbearable! Its cutting my mouth up and the pressure is giving me a sinus headache feeling.

I cannot eat...looks like I am starting my soft food diet early! ERRR, wish I would have ate a better last meal the night before.

Has anyone else experienced this before?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Pre-Op APT was yesterday.....

Had my pre-op apt yesterday. I feel more worried now than before! Is the surgery really this Friday?

I maybe blessed - but I am still stressed!

I got to Oakland at 11am and Met with my surgeon, got about 90% chance of a full recovery. 9/10....not bad!

11:30 am had my pre-surgery check up...I'm as healthy as can be!

Went to a two hour class at 2pm about what to expect before and after surgery...I was the dorky one who already knew everything...made me feel like a total geek, but my profession is managing a Library, so i guess i am. lol

Anyways, according to them - "I AM READY!".... okay-deep breaths! (calm down)

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

"Too Blessed to be Stressed"

"Too blessed to be stressed"

I used to hear these words everyday from an old employee (who unfortunately passed away a few years ago.)

These words have stuck with me for some time now, but today they really stood out.

A wonderful family member just emailed me some really wonderful advise and words of encouragement. (to that person, you know who you are - Thank you again I love you!)

I have so many people who love me and are supporting me – that my worries are less and less.

I am too blessed to be stressed about this surgery!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I know exactly what I will say if someone asks me what I am thankful for - Without a doubt the answer is family and friends.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Peace of Mind

In the blogs I have posted before, I wrote about my fears of having jaw surgery. I have been praying for everything to be okay, to have a fast recovery, and for nothing to go wrong. Yesterday’s blog I wrote about my fear of having a panic / anxiety attack and how I would handle myself at the Hospital right before and after surgery.

Last night I read something that just made me feel a lot better and I thought I would share this with everyone.

“We pray for a certain outcome in any given situation, when what we should be praying for is peace of mind – No matter which outcome occurs.” Sarah Ban Breathnach

WOW! What a powerful and true statement! All this time I have been praying about the outcome when I really just need to pray for is peace of mind. I should pray to have the strength to except whatever happens- happens.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

panic / anxiety attack

My Jaw surgery is fast approaching! This Friday will be exactly two weeks until surgery…..I am so incredibly scared. I feel a panic / anxiety attack coming on every time I think about it. I am really worried that I may not be strong enough to handle this unknowing adventure I got myself into here. I have read everything I can possible read about upper and lower jaw surgery. I have talked to numerous people about their experience. But talking about it or reading about it will never compare to actually going through it. Everyone asks me if I am ready for my surgery…I just smile and sarcastically tell them “NO” {Is anyone really ready for this, I think to myself}. I am really not ready; I mean, I am but I am not – if that makes sense? I have been waiting for this my whole life! People think I am brave for going through with this, but I am not at all brave. In fact, I scare easy (just say “boo” and I jump!) and worry about everything (constantly dwell on what has happened or what will happen – etc). Like I said before – I know everything will be okay. However, my reaction and my panic / anxiety attacks worry me. I wonder if I will freak out at the hospital before they put me under, I wonder when I wake up if I will freak out and make things worse, and I wonder if I will be at home and have a panic attack over my mouth wired shut. I think I may be more worried about me and my capability to cope with right before and after surgery than what my jaw will look like after and undergoing the surgery itself.

Attention: All who ready this – any words of wisdom, encouragement, etc….?

Thanks in advance to all who have and will be there for me as I travel on this journey! You all have no idea how much you all mean to me! Thank you!!!!

Thursday, November 8, 2007