Monday, October 15, 2007
It is starting to "hit home"
Every time I think about my jaw surgery; which is fast approaching, the more and more I feel sick to my stomach. Please god, I pray to be okay. I pray for a fast recovery and more importantly to have everything be okay. No! I PRAY, absolutely NO problems or any of the risks factors to happen to me. I can’t help but think of my jaw surgery at least once a day, if not twice to three times a day and I usually think about it for at least an hour depending on who is around me. When I am alone, I think of the worst case scenarios longer. Talking about my feelings and writing them down seem to help a little. I just wish I could look into the future and see the results, see what my life is like after surgery. See a head of time if it was worth it. Everyone tells me that I will be okay. They all say I will look great and be very happy I did it. I am glad that I am starting to worry though, that it is finally hitting home. And the more I worry about the worst the more I know deep down that I will be satisfied when everything ends up working out. Or even if I have a little complication, it most likely won’t be that bad as the stuff I am thinking about now.